#losing
is hurt
“Instead
of the empty feeling we had after we are losing someone, we are also wondering
how to continue of living with his/her memories...”
Yes, that is what I am trying to say.
Yesterday, I was alone in the library. Since it was 1 Muharram @ Maal Hijrah,
so there is public holiday. But, I never expected that our library will be
closed. I bring a lot of books, and stay outside the library. I wanna go home
as soon as I know the library was closed, but I don’t have any idea how to get
home with the heavy books. And the bad bad bad time is, when I check my prepaid
balance, it was RM0.07. Haha. So funny! Then I am using my smartphone to give a
FB’s message to my friend, Miss.A. Her answer makes me feel touched. She is
ready to pick me up and help me to bring my heavy books. T_T I am wondering, can I be just like her? She
is not always there, but she is always there when I really need someone. Yes,
she is. I stayed at her room at the hostel and settle up my assignment and go
home at 9pm.
Now,
all of my family and friends are around me, ready to laugh with me and I can
feel their sincerity. Actually, I can’t imagine what my life would be if one
day, I lose them. The person I loved and cared so much. For sure, I will wonder
how to surviving with all the memories they had left with me. I will suffer a
lot as I suffered when I am losing Eyang before. I have suffered enough when
hoping that Eyang is alive. When denied with all my heart that Eyang is not
died. When I go back to Eyang’s house, I can’t hold my tears. It will remind me
everything and now I am afraid of losing another one! I am afraid to love and
care too much coz I will not be able to accept that they will go and leaving me alone
with their memories.
Now,
we are on the 5th semester of Bachelor in Industrial and
Organizational Psychology. Only 1 semester left. After that, we need to say babai. Even
there is a song titled ‘Sorry seems to be the hardest word’, but for your
information, it is very really so hard to say BABAI/goodbye/selamat tinggal and
hugging, crying than saying I am sorry ok!
Yeah, this is true coz I have
experienced this when I am leaving one of my best friend at Selangor after 3
months living with her. And till this moment, we are very far far farrrr away
each other and I miss her so much! PLKN memang kejam wuwuwuuuu~ T_T
*post ni mau post hari Rabu, tapi
terpost hari ni. Kekekek~
2 things:
ReplyDelete1) Time flies. Yg ada pasti akan pergi.
2) Life is much much much harder out there... If during student life you already cried a lot, trust me, more crying will come when you face the outside world. We all dont have any choice but to be strong.
ya, tahu.ada satu proverbs,
Delete"jika kamu tidak sanggup menanggung penat lelahnya belajar,
maka bersedialah menerima peritnya menanggung kebodohan."
tapi this is my hard time.
and i know the hardest will coming soon, based on my instinct.
T_T