#losing is hurt
“Instead of the empty feeling we had after we are losing someone, we are also wondering how to continue of living with his/her memories...”
Yes, that is what I am trying to say. Yesterday, I was alone in the library. Since it was 1 Muharram @ Maal Hijrah, so there is public holiday. But, I never expected that our library will be closed. I bring a lot of books, and stay outside the library. I wanna go home as soon as I know the library was closed, but I don’t have any idea how to get home with the heavy books. And the bad bad bad time is, when I check my prepaid balance, it was RM0.07. Haha. So funny! Then I am using my smartphone to give a FB’s message to my friend, Miss.A. Her answer makes me feel touched. She is ready to pick me up and help me to bring my heavy books. T_T I am wondering, can I be just like her? She is not always there, but she is always there when I really need someone. Yes, she is. I stayed at her room at the hostel and settle up my assignment and go home at 9pm.
Now, all of my family and friends are around me, ready to laugh with me and I can feel their sincerity. Actually, I can’t imagine what my life would be if one day, I lose them. The person I loved and cared so much. For sure, I will wonder how to surviving with all the memories they had left with me. I will suffer a lot as I suffered when I am losing Eyang before. I have suffered enough when hoping that Eyang is alive. When denied with all my heart that Eyang is not died. When I go back to Eyang’s house, I can’t hold my tears. It will remind me everything and now I am afraid of losing another one! I am afraid to love and care too much coz I will not be able to accept that they will go and leaving me alone with their memories.
Now, we are on the 5th semester of Bachelor in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. Only 1 semester left. After that, we need to say babai. Even there is a song titled ‘Sorry seems to be the hardest word’, but for your information, it is very really so hard to say BABAI/goodbye/selamat tinggal and hugging, crying than saying I am sorry ok!
Yeah, this is true coz I have experienced this when I am leaving one of my best friend at Selangor after 3 months living with her. And till this moment, we are very far far farrrr away each other and I miss her so much! PLKN memang kejam wuwuwuuuu~ T_T
*post ni mau post hari Rabu, tapi terpost hari ni. Kekekek~